I don’t know if you know this but as a blogger you can see what kind of search engine terms people have used to find your blog. So far the strangest ones are… “butt pee” and “burger slapped”.
I have no idea what I have been talking about for the past few months that has led to being summed up by those two terms.
Burger slapped I can get… this is a weight loss blog after all. You don’t get fat without getting slapped by a burger or two. However, butt pee has got me stumped.
I can also see which pictures have been clicked on most frequently. It turns out, the pictures that make me cringe the most get the most hits. Like my fatty mug shot…
I never know what picture it is that people are looking at until I click on the link. Every time this picture pops up I give a little startled “Ah!…Eww.”
However, it was that picture that kept me on track all day today… even though I wanted to cheat SO bad.
After I put Penelope to bed I really wanted to slather butter crackers in peanut butter and top it off with mini chocolate chips and mini marshmallows. I wanted to pop it in the oven until the marshmallows got all toasted and gooey and then top them off with more crackers to turn it into an ooey sandwich supreme.
It sounds like I’ve had this before right?
I’ve never had it… I thought it was crazy that my brain could thoroughly examine the naughtiest items in my pantry and put them all together within a millisecond just to torture me. Why can’t my brain assess the healthy stuff that is about to go bad and come up with delicious recipes that way?
I am creative in all aspects of my life except for the kitchen…I’m a recipe follower not a maker. When you suffer from this lack of culinary creativity you have to be organized in order to get a successful dinner on the table. Well guess what? I’m not organized. I try to be but I’m not…. not by a long shot.
Now my friend Andrea… she’s organized, and artistic, and funny. I would hate her if she weren’t so loveable.
Our girls are only a month apart and their nap times are always conflicting, making it difficult for Andrea and I to get together. Only recently after weeks of planning did we finally manage to have a play date at Barnes and Noble. Penelope ripped things off the selves, Lucy cuddled and Andrea and I decided that we needed to synchronize our babies so that we could hang out more.
Since she is the organized one, I asked her to share her tricks with me and later that day I saw that she had emailed me her schedule. (You can scroll down to the bottom to find the infant daily schedule and her weekly schedule.)
At first I thought she wrote Lucy’s schedule for me on the spot, that day. It was so thorough and organized…
basically all of the things that I’m not that I really started to feel inadequate.Then I realised that it was intended for her nanny before she decided to be a stay-at-home mom/photographer/early child counselor… (yes, there was another job in there somewhere until she dropped it.)
Yeah, yeah, we get it… she’s awesome. Compared to her I’m a mess, but somehow we compliment each other.
Andrea and I met when we were both competing for the same preschool teacher job. During the interviews the director kept going on and on about how much she loved me… but she also loved this other candidate. She kept saying that she had no idea how she was going to choose between us.
My initial thought was…”Pshhh, there is no way she is better than me. She can’t be that awesome.”
Well as fate would have it we both ended up getting the job and we were to be teaching partners. When I met Andrea it became apparent that we were pretty much opposites.
She was tidy, I was messy. She ate veggies, I ate burritos. She liked calm, I liked chaos. But we had one thing in common. We had inherited the worst preschool class that ever was inherited. Both of the previous teacher’s quit midway through the year and I don’t think it was a coincidence.
It didn’t take long for us to join forces… we knew we were out numbered.
Andrea did her child psychology/organizational thing and I animatedly read Miss Nelson is Missing (but replaced Miss Nelson with Miss Nina). I had the kids totally convinced that Ms. Viola Swamp was going to end up taking over the class if they didn’t stop kicking our shins…
When they were particularly bad I would gasp and pretend like I saw her peeking through the window like she was just waiting to take over the class… don’t worry they loved it. Okay, so one kid go scared but I let her in on the secret and then she loved it too. We would give each other sly winks during the day to indicate that we had a little secret.
Before we knew it the classroom was organized yet covered in art and filled with music. The kids loved us and so did the parents. Together we were a success!
During that year we found out that we actually had a ton in common. I am so thankful for that rag-tag group of students for pulling us together.
The next year we were both pregnant and we taught together side by side, pregnant belly to pregnant belly. Literally…It really is awkward being pregnant and then trying to slide by another pregnant belly in a small classroom. There were a lot of involuntary belly bumps going on.
Lucy and Penelope were destined to be best friends! Now… if only we could get them to nap at the same time.
Andrea’s Weekly Routine
Lucy’s Daily Routine
**Eat – Play – Nap
7:00/30 am: Wake up; Nurse
7:30: Change Diaper, Get dressed
7:30 – 8:15: Play Time
9:00/30: Nap Time
Routine: take upstairs, change diaper, give pacifier, turn
Piano music and read a few books until she shows she
Is ready for her crib; lay down or rock until asleep.
11:00/11:30: Wakeup, Nurse
11:30 – 12:30 Play time
12:30pm – Lunch time
1:00 – 2pm: Play Time
Wednesdays/Thursdays – Library Days
Daily – Walk outside 30 mins. Or so
Fridays – Play at the Park
2:00/2:15pm – Nap Time
Go through same routine as for morning nap
4:00/4:30: Wakeup, nurse
** Do not let her sleep past 4:40 or 4:45pm or she won’t sleep at night
4:30: 5:30: Play time
5:30: Veggie snack in kitchen
6:00: dinner Time
6:30 – 7pm: Play Time
7:00: Bath and Bed Time
*Give Bath; towel is on hook in bathroom
*Dress her in footed sleeper
*Put on double stuffed diaper w/ fleece insert and lots of
diaper rash cream.
* Zip her up into her sleep sack and give pacifier
* Turn out Ocean Sounds
* Read a short story
* Turn out Lights and turn on Lady Bug Night Light
* Nurse (give bottle)
* Usually we lay her down awake when she seems calm
* If she cries, give her 10-15 mins., then go up and pat her
back and give her her pacifier again.
Lucy really doesn’t snack between meals. She can always have water – otherwise please keep to the feeding routine.
Typically she goes down easily for naps and bedtime. On the off chance that she doesn’t, here is what we do.
* Let her cry 15-20 minutes.
* If it is Naptime, go up and give her a pacifier (she’ll have spit it out) and pat her back – don’t pick her up. If she still seems like she’s not calming down, pick her up and see if she needs a diaper change. Change her diaper if necessary. Put back down and pat back until calm. (You may also rock her in the glider for 5 minutes or so but sometimes she will think this is playtime.)Then leave.
Usually after this process, she may cry for 5 more minutes or so but will eventually go to sleep. If she cries for 30 minutes or more, give up. She’s not having it. =)
If it is Bedtime, give her closer to 20 minutes, then go back up and give her her pacifier and pat her back until she’s calm. Usually it doesn’t help at all to pick her up during bedtime. Just let her cry it out after 1 trip up. We usually say “Ok Lucy, now it’s time to sleep. Mommy and Daddy are close by but we aren’t going to come back in again. We’ll see you in the morning.” And that’s that. Bedtime is firmly kept.