I found it! Really and truly this time…
No I’m not talking about The Great Pumpkin. Although, I have found that too… over, and over, and over again. (And I’ve loved every minute of it.)
What I found over the past few weeks is that balance that I am always in a quest for. That allusive thing that only exists in your brain. That perfect in between place where you get shit done, taking care of all of your obligations AND manage to find time to treat yo self.
Ah yeah… I’ve been treating myself real good.
Wait. I didn’t mean… forget it.
What I’m trying to tell you is that I’m happy. Super duper happy. After doing a bit of habit overhauling I finally feel like I’ve got a hold of this whole working mommy thing down without sacrificing the things I need to do for myself in the name of sanity. Here are the things I’ve added back into my life…
1.) Reading! There is nothing better than getting lost in someone else’s story for a change. Once I started my new teaching job I got out of the habit of finding time to read. Then miraculously I got a stomach bug the other weekend. It was awful… but awesome. I was quarantined for an entire day so as soon as the puking subsided I found myself alone… in a hot bath… swimming through the pages of a book. It started out with a book I need to read for an upcoming unit I’m teaching.
Berlin Boxing Club by Robert Sharenow
What started out as a chore turned into something enjoyable. I couldn’t stop thinking about it even after I had finished it. I didn’t want it to end. But it did. So I picked up another book to fill the void…
I’ll Give You The Sun by Jandy Nelson
I think this is my new favorite book. I definitely have a new literary hero. The way the characters see the world is like nothing I’ve ever read before. After reading the pages of this book you look up to discover that everything is sprinkled with magic, and you feel like you have been let into a secret club where you are granted the gift of sight for the first time. I was so enamored with it that I couldn’t do anything else in my spare time. I HAD to swallow this book whole.
(You can blame Jandy for my lack of blogging.)
2.) Playing outside. I still haven’t found a consistent workout routine but I have taken the time to go for runs, take my dog for a walk, jump on the trampoline with Penelope and roll around in the leaves outside.
3.) Cooking. I have finally rediscovered my love of cooking. In fact this morning we made pumpkin pancakes from scratch.
Made with whole wheat flour, greek yogurt and pumpkin puree… the left overs will be used to feed the girls as they run out the door during the mid-week rush. The smell alone was worth the effort. Although I was a bit rusty, we almost ended up with pumpkin bricks because I forgot to add the almond milk.
I also cooked dinner every day this week. I made split pea soup, pan seared pork chops, beans and cornbread… It felt so good to sit at the table as a family and share the food I made for them. Not to mention, I’ve also taken the time to wake up a bit earlier in the mornings so that I can enjoy a cup of coffee or tea in the morning before the daily rush. All of the Starbuck’s cups that usually collect in my car have been replaced by mismatched mugs.
I’m also sure to pack a breakfast before I head out the door…
My Go To move is still apples topped with greek yogurt, cinnamon and a bit of brown sugar in a mason jar. I bring a sandwich bag of kashi cereal and sprinkle it on when I’m ready to eat it. All of my students think it’s the coolest thing ever. I would have to agree. Plus, it keeps me full forever.
Speaking of which… I’ve finally lost weight. The more I got pulled into work the higher the weight on the scale crept. I got one pound away from 200 pounds. One pound from the weight I refused to return to! When I weighed myself this morning I weighed in at 194.8. This is still ten pounds more than what I weighed a year ago. Thirty pounds higher than what I weighed when I got married. I feel like I should beat myself up about that for your entertainment purposes but I don’t really feel like it. I’m too satisfied at the moment for self loathing.
Instead I’m just going to keep making those little changes that have been making me so happy lately. I plan on spending as much time exercising outside while the weather allows it. I want to keep cooking fresh clean food from scratch, and I’m going to continue to allow myself to enjoy the things that make me happy like reading and writing.
In other words I’m just going to keep living and learning…
And treating my self every now and then, yo.