Happy morning/afternoon to you from this frozen tundra…
I was driving to work yesterday during the greyest of days when I saw the sun trying it’s darndest to shine through the clouds. What resulted was an angelic looking orange orb floating in the sky. It only lasted for a moment before I was left submerged in the grey again. Luckily, I was crazy enough to stop mid-drive and capture the moment.
It was worth it, frozen nostrils and all.
I’m tempted to say that I’m over winter, but I’m actually not sure if this is true or not. I actually think I would be more bummed out if the weather were beautiful and I were trapped in daily grind of work and missing it all. In the meantime I am perfectly fine with cuddling up under blankets and drinking
red wine warm tea when I get home from work.
That being said, I am super excited about the prospect of summer. I can’t wait for the summer dresses, outdoor concerts, green grass, butterfly catching, bike riding and hiking to come. I’ve already got big plans for my garden this year, including this flower chandelier…
Just kidding… I wouldn’t actually make that. But it’s always fun to pretend like you are handier than you really are.
In anticipation for summer I keep finding myself wanting to put pressure on myself to just hurry up and drop any additional weight that I might be carrying. The fifteen year old in me just wants to look good in a bathing suit when the end of May arrives. I tend to forget that it doesn’t matter what I look like in a bathing suit, nothing gets in the way of my summer fun.
The whimsical, go-with-the-flow side of me simply wants to enjoy the process of being healthy, because I tend to feel my best when I am eating wholesome foods and working out. This side of me kind of just wants to just go with it without dead lines and see what happens.
There is a battle of personalities going on in my head right now and I’m not sure which one is winning. (We’ll just ignore the implication that this means I’m crazy.) Then I’ll step on the scale to discover that no weight has been lost over the span of a week. I weighed in at exactly the same place as last week 199.2. A part of me thinks I should find some sort of motivation to move along a little faster and another part of me thinks, “Ah…Who cares?”
I don’t know if this shows lack of motivation or the conscious effort to not get crazy over a number on the scale. A part of me just kind of wants to enjoy the simple things and not create deadlines and problems where they don’t exist. Today is a good example of this.
I simply had the best time just hanging out with Penelope and Bridget at the book store located where the farmer’s market takes place. The famer’s market had been packed away for the winter but we still hang out in that area and pine over the day when we get to taste freshly roasted nuts and smell flowers and peaches.
Usually when I am at the book store I have an agenda. I will want to scout around for new books to read or catch up on my gossip magazine reading. But on this day, instead of being the dictator of activities, I just kind of went along with whatever Penelope wanted to explore. We spent hours playing with various toys and looking at books. Then we went outside and examined the ice, trying to slide on it or smash it…
We walked into a near by toy store and both had so much fun playing with the trinkets! Her laugh was so loud and contagious the people standing near by couldn’t help but join in.
It was nice to forget about deadlines from work and just play. The week is usually filled with me trying to rush the kids so that we can make it to one activity or another. Having a fun agenda free day today really made me look forward to the days of summer when we can stomp in puddles, fly kites and examine bugs.
There is something to be said for living vicariously through your kids.
When we got home this afternoon Penelope passed out for her first nap in months. I’ve taken the time to search for healthy food recipes and plan out my workouts for the upcoming week.
I’ve really been struggling with what to make for dinner these days. When Brent is gone Bridget will complain if I have healthy dinner plans and Penelope doesn’t eat anything but peanut butter and honey sandwiches. I’ve gotten super paranoid about the quality of meat that we get here in the U.S. and I toyed with only buying organic and grassfed/free range products. Then I discovered that my food budget had mysteriously vanished after a few shopping trips. It’s just too expensive.
I thought that we could cut back on meat to make it more affordable but Brent didn’t agree. He posted this on my facebook page shortly after our discussion about it.
“Just something to think about the next time you want to suggest we go vegetarian.”
So, now I am left with the dilemma of whether to go broke, eat mutant animals or get a divorce.
While I ponder upon that you can check out the recipes that I have decided to make this week, which may be a combination of the three depending on my cooking skills…
This might be a good time to let you all know that I have changed my weigh-in posting day from Friday to Sunday. This will give me the weekend to not only put my thoughts together but to write a decent blog post. Hope you have a great rest of your weekend!