Weighing in With Frozen Nostrils

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I don’t know about where you are but the weather around here sucks.

We’ve had nostril freezing temperatures for the past week. I’m not kidding… the second you step foot outdoors the inside of your nostrils freeze up. It’s a very unpleasant feeling, actually. I even had one of my eyelids freeze shut for a nano second this morning while I walked to my car. These crazy temps have forced me to wear my outdated glasses because every time I wear my contacts I feel like they are freezing onto my eyeballs.

Our weather in Colorado has been colder than the actual North Pole! At least that’s what the weather person said on the news this morning and I believe her because she’s usually forty percent right half of the time.

This has been troublesome for my workout schedule as of late. Brent and I have decided not to take Penelope to the gym daycare anymore because she has come home with a new illness every other week for the past three months. We’ve gone through stomach viruses, fifth’s disease and croup just to name a few. Add in the random days her mouth has had to birth a new tooth and the total hours of lost sleep is astronomical.

I haven’t come up with a plan B yet and without the ability to run outside my workout options have been limited. This means for the past week I’ve been hibernating and for me hibernating usually entails one of these festive suckers…

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I have a feeling that little concoction you are looking at is partially to blame for my less than stellar weigh in this morning. I weighed in at a whopping 187. But here is the real problem. I think I look good at 187 pounds… at least I can fake looking good. Here is the other problem,  I’ve been doing a lot of shopping to bolster my teaching wardrobe and I’ve been able to find some really cute stuff. You would think that since I need to lose roughly around 40 pounds that I would have had a dressing room melt down or two but I haven’t. In fact, I actually like what I see these days.

You don’t understand, I need those melt downs to keep me going…

We can blame all of those YM articles I read back in the day about self-esteem. We won’t mention the Cosmo articles I snuck-read about sex positions as well, even though I had no idea what they were talking about half of the time.

Um… what was I talking about?

Oh yeah… I look good… even though I’m still technically fat. Weird.

I did however, have an awkward encounter in Express when I asked them if they sold their dress pants in size 14 because I had seen them online. Brent was standing there with me when they said that they didn’t sell pants that big in the store. Brent pretended like he didn’t hear the conversation for fear of a melt down. I contemplated having one until I went  into another store and found what I was looking for.

It also helped that when I went shopping for shoes my Bilbo Baggins feet didn’t fit into any of the shoes either. (I wear a size 10.5 to 11) To me this just illustrated I’m just a big girl and wearing bigger clothes is simply the norm for me. Unfortunately, I’ve used my acceptance of how I look as a crutch for not losing weight.

However, I’ve had a few reminders as to why I need to stay persistent on this journey during this past week…

1. I tweaked my back again because the muscles in my core are still too week to support my weight.

2. I’ve had a headache every day for the past week. (Thanks a lot Starbucks sugar crash!)

3. My feet hurt almost every day.

4. I probably still have high blood pressure but I’m not sure because I’m too scared to make an appointment to check.

5. I can feel the crazy creeping up since I haven’t worked out in a while.

So, even though I don’t have vanity pushing me to lose weight I still have that whole health business working for me. This means that I’ve got to make time to go to the gym even though I can’t take Penelope with me anymore. This whole week I’ve been working around Brent’s schedule to find a time that I can work out.

This hasn’t worked.

He has a new training partner and they work out at 6 in the morning (the time slot that I would have like to have taken). I also have to contend with all of his personal training clients throughout the day when he isn’t at the fire station. By the time we’ve figured out the best time for me to workout something else has taken that time slot up as well.

That means I’m going to bite the bullet and start waking up at 4 in the morning on the days that he’s home to stay with the girls. This seems really drastic but in reality I’m going to have to take drastic measures while I do my student teaching anyway. I’ll have to be at school by 7 and I won’t get off until 4. I’m not going to want to work out in the evenings because I’ll want to spend that time with the kiddos. Therefore, 4 it is.

I’m starting tomorrow before Brent leaves for work at 5:30. Brent doesn’t think I’ll do it but I have a sneaking suspicion he’s using reverse psychology on me…

What is your designated workout time? What do you do to make sure you follow through with it?

Week 44 Weigh-in and a Possible Rebirth

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Okay, so I was supposed to do Monday weekly weigh-in’s starting this week but it feels funny not weighing in on Friday.

I just. can’t. do it. It’s just not right.

Therefore, I’ve decided to stick with my Friday weigh-in’s and just simply not go crazy celebrating my loss during the weekend because then I’m left losing the same three pounds over, and over, and over, and over again. It’s boring and not to mention annoying.

This week has been a whirl wind. I’ve been busy writing papers for my last class before student teaching. AHHHH! So far I have a 100% in the class… Why yes, I’m bragging. Let’s all take a moment to appreciate how smart I am. Ignore the typos you find throughout the rest of this blog and focus on the grade m’kay?

Even though I’ve been a great student I feel like I’ve been a horrible mom. Simply because I didn’t enjoy it this week. As moms we feel the need to plaster a smile on our faces for the general public and pretend like we just simply adore every last bit about this life we call motherhood. Don’t get me wrong I love my kids  unconditionally.  At the same time I was exhausted and couldn’t appreciate the cuteness that was hidden in the millionth temper tantrum of the week and the snarky tween comment that was meant to be funny. I just wasn’t feeling it.

I hadn’t slept in 10 days and I swear I would have heard voices in my head if I had entertained them. With each interrupted night of sleep I could hear the sound of my sanity crackling and splintering. My rock bottom was when Brent told me he was going to go for a nice stroll by himself and I so eloquently told him, “Oh that’s nice… to be able to go for a stroll… by YOURSELF!”  Then I proceeded to tell him that  Penelope was so far up my butt that I was going to have to rebirth her. Not my classiest moment.

I guess you could say Mommy needed some space.

I was planning on writing a blog post on Wednesday but opted for a nap instead due to the voices in the head thing. You know I’m kidding right? I wish I were kidding. Seriously, I’m kidding… kind of. 

(I’m pretty sure you just met them.)

This week I decided that it didn’t matter that I was sleep deprived and a little crazy and had a million things on my “To Do” list with a toddler who was on a mission to prevent me from getting anything done.  Nothing was going to change anytime soon so I had no choice but to accept it and stop using the chaos as an excuse. It was time to face the facts… this is my crazy life. So there is no other option but to suck it up and do what I need to do regardless.

Turns out my workouts were the best part of my day. I would start off in a crappy mood feeling completely overwhelmed but by the time I was done with my workout I felt rejuvenated and ready for the rest of my day.

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Usually when I’m done working out I run errands. This is when I’m most tempted to buy a sugary Starbucks drink. So in order to curb that habit I’ve prepared post workout snacks to take with me while I shop including Green Monster Smoothies and Energy Balls (aka glorified no bake cookies).

Penelope loves them too!

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You might think I’m weird but there’s something therapeutic about buying healthy food. I feel so proud of myself, in my head I keep thinking about how impressed the cashier must be with my healthy food selection. When in reality she is probably cursing me under her breath as she looks up the codes for all of the vegetables.

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The real challenge is getting all of the groceries in the refrigerator before Penelope takes a single bite out of every piece of fruit. I found a produce sticker in her poopy diaper today… I think I need to be quicker.

During our grocery shopping trips Penelope insists on holding the lemons because they smell so divine. She’ll just sit there and snort them and occasionally try to take a bite of the skin which isn’t quite as pleasant. It may seem weird but sniffing lemons with my toddler is on my top ten list for things that make me super happy.

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Lemons are the ultimate aromatherapy, if you can’t appreciate the smell of a good lemon then you just weren’t meant to be happy.

Anyway, I ate really well all this week and as promised I took pictures whenever I could.

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The only problem with eating so healthy was that I got a headache every night. I have PCOS which causes you to have strong reactions to sugar and processed carbs and since I had been eating that junk the weeks before my body was starting to have withdraws when I cut them out. So, every night in a desperate attempt to keep from feeling awful I ended up  eating something that wasn’t part of the plan. (Like the Skittles leftover from Bridget’s Girl Scout meeting.)

I’ve always felt like a crack head when it came sugar and white starchy carbs.  Then I found an article that let me know that it wasn’t just my imagination… How Oreos Work Like Cocaine.

Even though I had to fuel my cocaine sugar habit each evening. I still managed to make a little progress on the scale. I weighed in at 184.2.

I’m nowhere near the goals I had set for myself and it’s bugging the hell out of me. Why does this freaking weight loss business take so LONG ?!?!

Because you’re not consistent dummy.

Ugh… those voices!

So that’s where I am at… It’s a riveting story I tell you. Now, I’m off to do more school work so that I can enjoy the weekend!

We Interrupt This Programming…

Good morning world! It’s a cold and frigid one in these parts.

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The past few days have been a little rough because the little one has had a bad reaction to the flu shot she got on Monday for her 18 month appointment. She must have not been far enough removed from the cold she had the previous week. By Tuesday night she was running a fever that escalated to 104 and was feeling bad off and on for the remainder of the week.

Whenever she was feeling well we went to the park to get some fresh air. Where I would only let her play with the geese in case she did have something contagious.

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I call this picture, “Wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

Whenever I was able to get out with her I made our ordinary outings to the grocery store as special as possible.

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I mean seriously… who takes time to take pictures outside of a grocery store?

For the first time in her life she’s been super clingy and we spent many hours watching Sesame Street and reading books. To be honest I kind of loved it. Only, I wasn’t a huge fan of worrying about her late into the night as her temperature climbed and she writhed in discomfort. Hopefully last night was the last of it because she woke up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. We pulled her into bed with us (another thing she does not tolerate) where she still remains snuggled under our covers as I type this. I’m pretty sure this is the latest she’s slept in her entire life. I don’t even set an alarm clock anymore. I usually just let Penelope let me know when it’s time to get up.

I still managed to go to the gym, fit in a crossfit workout and squeeze in a run thanks to the help of my husband who has been off work for the past three days. I’m a little sore so I feel like I’ve done my job.

My diet wasn’t at 100%. It could have been worse but it could have been better. It usually fell to pieces in the evening when I needed to make dinner but Penelope wouldn’t let me put her down.

In the mornings I’ve been obsessed with two ingredient pancakes (2 eggs + 1 banana).

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I’m also in love with this cinnamon tea I found that tastes like red hots.

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For lunches I’ve mainly stuck with salads because they keep me full and I’ve been craving them like crazy.

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And at dinner it has been a free for all since Penelope as been sick. I probably ate chili three times…

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It would not hurt my feelings if I never had it again.

Thanks to the feedback I received about weigh-ins and food journaling I’ve made a few decisions. I’ve decided to continue to weigh-in weekly only I’m moving my weigh-in day to Monday so that I have to stay on point throughout the weekend. I’ve also had a little pep talk with myself about slacking off right after a weigh-in that went a little something like this…

“Knock that shit off!”

Hopefully it works.

I’ve also decided to take pictures of my food on random days to illustrate how I eat when I’m on point. I won’t ramble on and on about what I’m eating unless I’ve found an amazing recipe that I want to try out. I’ve also decided that if I’m going to eat something less than stellar I have to post it on here for you all to see. It will be like a confessional… only there won’t be blushing priest.

Welp… the munchkin is awake. demanding more snuggles.

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I must be on my way now another round of Sesame Street awaits! Hope you have a wonderful weekend and I’ll see you Monday for the new weigh-in!

P.S. Here is a good read about making nutrition compromises from Kath Eats Real Food.

Week 38 Weigh-in

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It’s Friday and it’s a beautiful Fall day… awesome indeed!

I spent the week trying to stay strong and determined. Even though we had our everyday challenges and temptations I managed to push through and do what I needed to do even if it wasn’t along the same lines of what I wanted to do. I always feel like I’m either on track with working out or eating right but rarely am I on track with those two things simultaneously. So this week I focused on both.

I went to yoga for the first time in a long time and walked out of there feeling like my body and brain had the best massage ever…

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While I was off getting my zen on Penelope was in the gym day care watching some other kid puke all over the place.  It wasn’t long before she came down with a tummy bug as well. I think having to change endless diapers and vomit may have helped on the eating front… not too appealing after all of that.

 Luckily Brent was home from work and did a lot of caring for the poor baby. (He can’t stand it when his girls don’t feel well.) So that meant during nap time I was able to go for runs with Sir Scout since going to the gym wasn’t much of an option.

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Scout didn’t mind one bit!

It was one of those weeks where I could have easily lost my mind. If I weren’t in such a healthy place I have a feeling I would have drowned my frustrations in a Venti Pumpkin Spice latte every day of the week. Pumpkin Spice Lattes are my kryptonite so for the whole of the week I skipped coffee all together. For some reason I can drink iced coffee without so much crap in it. But when the weather gets cooler and more seasonal I crave hot coffee, and then that leads to craving sugar…. lots and lots of sugar.

So I drank tea instead which I’m able to drink without adding sugar to it. However, it didn’t stop me from craving coffee all week long. Fortunately, I found a skinny pumpkin spice latte recipe that I’m tempted to try.

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For now I’m just leaving coffee as a weekend treat. In fact I’m going to allow myself one today during my cheat day. Some people have triggers that cause them to go down an unhealthy path.  It might be cheese or chips for others, but for me it’s sugar coffee. Drinking coffee during school was what initially caused me to start packing on unwanted pounds.

Speaking of pounds when I stepped on the scale today I weighed in at 186.6.

I’m not quite sure how I feel about that. It’s not going to make or break me but it’s not as much as I thought I would lose since I was super diligent. At the same time I can fluctuate 5 pounds any given minute due to water weight so there’s no telling if this is an accurate reading. If it is accurate then it’s too far off for me to be able to reach my goal of 180 by next Friday… but we shall see 😉

How did your week go, do you feel like it was a success?

Labor Day Weekend

Happy Labor Day weekend!

While others are out getting their eat and drink on I’m at home meal planning my little heart out…

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Okay so maybe I’m getting my drink on a little bit too.

This weekend was a bit uneventful but still pretty great. Brent has to work on Labor Day so it doesn’t really feel like a holiday. That’s the downside to his schedule, the up side is we can treat any other mundane weekday as a holiday when he get’s off work while everyone else is at work. He’ll be gone for another three days in a row, be back two days and then be gone another three. So basically, I’m a single mom… again.

Sometimes I prefer the space this allows me because then I can sleep on his side of the bed or wax the blonde mustache off of my face with out having to worry about him seeing the red remnants on my upper lip. But sometimes I need a night like tonight where I can sit on my back deck, drink a glass of wine and let him put the baby down to bed. Those are the things I miss most… oh and him too I guess  😉

Although we didn’t do a bunch of stuff this weekend we still had a great time. We went on a ton of bike rides, since I got my new baby seat in the mail… a belated birthday present.

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This meant that we made a few visits to the coffee shop, even though I know perfectly well how to make my own iced coffee. But we couldn’t help it because there is the nicest group of old ladies who walk their dogs to our shop seemingly everyday. They always coo over Penelope while Penelope coos over their dogs. We knew they would get a kick out of her new toy and helmet so we just had to show it off.

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On Friday Bridget and I finally got to spend some quality one on one time with each other by going on a mommy daughter date. Her friend called her the night before to see if she could hang out with her and I overheard her saying that she couldn’t because she had a date with her mom. She didn’t even hesitate which made me grin. She may be a tween but she’s still a mommy’s girl and I love it. Her and I bond over books so we did what all nerdy girls do. We hung out at the bookstore before going to see a movie that originated from a book.

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We saw Mortal Instruments: City of Bones. It was actually pretty good but the movie we are dying to see is Divergent which comes out in March. I recommended this book several months ago when I stumbled across it at the library. If you haven’t read it you have until March to do so. It’s SO good… better than The Hunger Games in my humble opinion. Here’s the trailer to the movie. Can’t wait!!!

Anyway, other than cleaning out my gutters…

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Which gave me a whole new understanding to the saying about “being in the gutter”… eeeww!

We didn’t do much. I’ve been working on a freelance project that just won’t. get. finished. So I told myself that I would take the day off and relax. No writing!

Well, here I am writing to you instead… I can’t help it. You know when you have those friends that you invite over to your house even though you never managed to get out of your jammies but neither of you really cares? Well, that’s how I feel about this blog. I like you guys and I kind of miss you when I don’t hear from you in a while. When I’m writing to you it doesn’t feel like work.

Plus, I’m really excited about this week. I’ve got all of my ducks in a row. I’ve scheduled when I will workout and when I will write. I’ve planned all of my meals and I’ve stocked up the fridge with healthy stuff.

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I’m really pushing myself to make it to 180 lbs by the end of this month. So that means I’m going to have to exert some self discipline. That’s why I’m drinking the wine tonight. (uhhh… what?). No more alcohol for the rest of this month. I’m increasing my water intake and focusing on filling my plates with good old fashioned produce. Now that I have a toddler who cries when you take her out of her bike seat I’m bound to spend even more time outside peddling to my heart’s content.

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It may not be a lake trip extravaganza but as I sit outside drinking my wine,  listening to the crickets and smelling my neighbor’s laundry detergent wafting over the fence I can’t help but feel like I’m having little Labor Day celebration of my own. It’s not going to last long because that laundry detergent is reminding me of all of the loads of laundry I should be doing right now. Ah well, I can drink and do laundry at the same time 😉

Have a great weekend everyone!