On the Brink

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If you come to this blog to be inspired by a woman who does everything the right way then you are definitely reading the wrong blog. However, if you are interested in reading the story of a woman on the brink then you’ve come to the right place.

The only problem is that we have no idea what I’m on the brink of… We’ll just have to wait and see.

Now that we have established that I have to tell you that I didn’t do the workout I was supposed to do yesterday. I just didn’t want to. I got in some exercise but not that specific workout.

My attitude has been crappy lately and I’ve come to the conclusion that I need a new perspective. So I pushed aside all of the things on my “To Do” list and focused on living in the moment. The goal for the day was simply to enjoy it.

Instead of looking at my girls as if they were another chore on the list of things to do I relished in them.

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We ate bananas by the pool. We giggled and snuggled. Bridget and I talked and I let Penelope plunge her chubby finger into my eyeball a million times as she repeated… “eyes?”

I cooked dinner for the pure joy of it and I enjoyed every bite.

I explored my garden and enjoyed its fruits instead of lamenting over the amount of weeding that needs to be done.

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When the girls went to sleep I snuck outside with a glass of wine and lounged in the hammock that sits in my garden. I have yet to sit in that thing… can you believe it?

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I rested my chlorine soaked head on the outdoor pillow that was put on clearance to make room for school supplies and I took the time to admire the moment. I glanced over to my house looking from the outside in. As the moon cast its glow over the yard and the windows emitted their warm light I felt like my life was plunged into a storybook.

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(Then I took a picture of myself enjoying the moment because taking selfies of yourself as you hang out in your back yard is a totally normal thing to do.)

As I enjoyed my new found perspective I stopped rushing ahead. I feel like there are so many times that I focus on the future… “I can’t wait for Fall! I can’t wait until I’ve dropped all of this weight! I can’t wait until I’m done with school!”

Only a few months back I couldn’t wait to be where I am now. What good was all of that anticipation if I’m not going to enjoy it when it arrives? So that’s what I did. I sat back and enjoyed it.

You should try it some time…

Here is a song I love running to that just about sums up my new attitude.

Barefoot Bike Ride

It’s June 2nd and I am really sucking at this enjoying summer business. What the hell? I’ve been dying for summer to be here and once it is I’m too tired to enjoy it?! This isn’t right.

I think being tired is one of the worst feelings on the planet.

Finally this afternoon I made myself take the nap I’ve been denying myself for days. Once I got that out of the way all was right with the world again. When I woke up the house was eerily quite. Bridget had a friend over and I couldn’t help but smile when I heard them giggling in the backyard. They knew I was tired so they stayed outside while I slept.

Since the weather was beautiful Brent felt like it was the perfect night for the first backyard campout of the season. It wasn’t long before preparations were underway…

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Brent thought that the kids should get to pick out what we ate for dinner and they decided on pizza.

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… and cupcakes.

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I voted on cherries and Brent voted on beer for the adults.

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I went along with this because I had declared today my free day in a pre-nap “I’m so tired I could cry” frenzy. Shortly after this declaration I stuffed five crackers in my mouth and passed out. When I woke up I didn’t feel like I needed a cheat day anymore so I just had a little bit of everything. No need to get all crazy.

When it neared Penelope’s bed time Brent gave her a bath while the big kids watched Super 8 on Netflix. There is something about cinematic music that makes me think of summer. It’s always nice to sit in the air conditioning and watch a movie after a hard day’s worth of playing outside.

Once we put Penelope down for bed I went for a long barefoot bike ride all by myself…

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(FYI: This is the only thong tan line you’ll be seeing on this body.)

As my hair whipped wildly behind me I couldn’t help but feel like a kid again. The sun started to settle and I could hear the sprinklers shushing the neighboring weed wacker. The air that was rushing into my face was full of the scent of summer… grilling steak, fresh cut grass, and budding flowers. I rode my bike much further than I had anticipated just basking in the dusk of a beautiful day.

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That sour mood I was in earlier was a distant memory. It seemed like everyone else who was outside was in just as good of a mood as I was. They all smiled and waved as I rode past. I felt like I was in a one woman parade. It was only later when I choked on a gnat that I realized that I was grinning from ear to ear the whole time. That’s when I came to the conclusion that those people weren’t actually smiling at me but were instead just smiling back. It’s funny how contagious facial expressions can be.

I’m leaving for vacation this Thursday so I have to do my weigh-in a day early. I plan on unplugging during that time in order to spend some quality time with my nieces in Missouri who I miss so much. That means no blog posts until I get back the following Tuesday.

We’ve got a crazy summer planned full of visitors and I’m going to have to strike a balance between weight loss and living in the moment. I want to better myself but I don’t want to be so obsessed with losing weight that I lose sight of what is really important. Striking this balance is going to be a challenge but I also think it’s the key to long-term weight loss because it embodies the true meaning of health.

With that said, I won’t be eating pizza tomorrow and I plan on waking up and going for a long morning run… a little yin for the yang if you know what I mean 😉

What is your favorite aspect of summer?