Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Losing weight is hard because in order to be successful you really need to have your family on board. You would think that they would want you at your best but sometimes change is scary. Bridget has told me before that she didn’t want me to lose weight because she likes me squishy… flattering huh?

In the midst of all of this blogging I had a feeling everyone was feeling a bit neglected so I took a day off to spend some individual time with each of them. But first I had to log into my grad class and say a little hello.

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Penelope and Scout wanted me to say hello for them too.

Penelope is teething, has some sort of virus and has learned how to pull up (but not get down) so my morning was spenting bathing in drool and snot. Penelope likes to refer to this as “quality time”. I had promised Bridget that I would take her for an outing by ourselves sometime during her winter break so as soon as Brent got home from training people the two of us took off for the mall.

Bridget was so giddy to have me to herself! It was like a scene out of an 80’s movie. Click on the link, leave it open and come back to me to enjoy my lame attempt at a shopping montage.

Try not to get distracted by Cindy Lauper’s awesome street dancing like I did… where was I?

Oh yeah! The montage…

I’m hoping you can read and listen at the same time. (Pay attention to me! You can watch Cindy later.)

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We did all of the things at the mall that we never take time to do. Like, try on sunglasses and let weird guys at a lotion kiosk show us how much dead skin is on our hands. (It was gross.)

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We went to Lululemon and awkwardly stood outside and took pictures of it…

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and then dreamed about actually being able to fit into their clothes. Technically Bridget can fit into them, which kind of breaks my heart.

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But then she wanted to go to American Girl, even though she didn’t want to be seen going in because she’s too cool. This is her, “Oh no, she’s really going to take a picture of me” look. She’s in fifth grade, it’s so conflicting… kid? or tween? kid? or tween? We don’t know.

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A little bit of both maybe? She wanted to hold my hand while we walked, so I’m okay with whatever she decides. We were having so much fun but our montage wasn’t complete without a picture of us giggling together and dancing in public. Bridget was absolutely terrified when I suggested we ask a stranger to take a picture of us engaging those activities. I was this close.

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Then she got hungry so we got her a garlic pretzel dripping in butter. I took one bite and then suggested she eat it while we walked because it was getting to be pure torture. She wanted me to hold it while she was putting on her jacket and she caught me sniffing it.

“Mom! You can’t sniff people’s food! It’s creepy.”

She’s right.

It wasn’t long before we got a text from Brent saying that Penelope refused to take a nap and was screaming her head off so we cut the trip short and headed home.

I spent the rest of my afternoon at the dr’s office and continued to bath in her snot and drool while we waited a century to be called back.

I had made arrangements for Bridget to have a sleepover so that Brent and I could have some alone time. I wanted to make him a nice healthy dinner and have  a glass of wine but when it was all said and done we were both exhausted. He picked up a Papa Murphy’s delight pizza and I changed into something a little more comfortable… if you know what I mean 😉

Seriously, it was my comfy ratty nightgown that he hates (but feels so good to sleep in).

Needless to say, I didn’t workout. I took two rest days. But as I’m typing this I realize that I have to hurry up and get ready because I need to meet a friend at the gym in 15 minutes! GOTTA GO!

Oh God, What Did I Just Do?

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Writing a blog as been the most self-absorbed thing I’ve ever done. When it first started out I had no intentions of sharing it. In fact, if my husband would happen to walk by while I was working on it I would quickly click to something else as if I was afraid of being caught looking at something naughty.

After my weigh in on Christmas Day I had a break down. My husband who had been working over the holidays came home to a teary eyed mess and had no idea what had transpired since he had left for work. He went back to work on New Year’s Eve and my oldest daughter had a sleepover at a friend’s house. That night Penelope decided to go to bed at 6:30 and for the first time in a while I was left alone with nothing to do. I was looking at the photos that I had posted up and decided that drastic times called for drastic measures.

Before I knew what I was doing I was composing the following message…

Hi Friends,

 I have to warn you that I’m about to get kind of weird on you. Facebook as we know is kind of a strange thing because with the click of a mouse we can peek into the lives of friends or acquaintances. In the process of sharing tidbits of life people fall into the trap of over sharing. And that is precisely what I’m about to do…

As many of you know I had a baby this past year. After giving birth I suffered from a pretty big dose of postpartum depression. On top of that I suffer from a condition called PCOS which has a bunch of awesome side effects but the best one of all is weight gain. I’ve really struggled this year to get my mind and body together and through all of this I have finally found the light at the end of the tunnel.

Most of you don’t know this but I went to school to become a writer. One of my dreams is to be able to make a living as a freelance writer but I’ve never known how to get my work out there. I’ve always thought it would be cool to be a blogger but I’m not an expert on anything. While struggling to lose weight it hit me. I should write a weight loss blog. (Just to make things clear this is not a New Year’s resolution thing.) I’ve been working on it since November and I find it entirely inconvenient that I’ve finally pulled it together at this moment in time.

The reason I’m writing you is because I need your support. I want you to read my blog. Some of you are close friends and some of you are acquaintances but you are my preferred audience. If you like it, keep reading. If you find this message really awkward, we’ll pretend like this never happened. Just be warned that I’m letting it all hang out…literally. This is still in the rough stages but I’m hoping with your support I will become successful in more ways than one.

Thanks, Nina

I picked a selection of friends who I thought might go easy on me. My eyes started to well up and before I could chicken out I hit the send button. This was the equivalent of walking into my high school reunion butt naked and saying, “Hey guys! Check this out!”

After I sent it I sat there and cried and thought, “Oh God, what did I just do?” Then the first message popped up and then the next and the support I got was incredible. I stopped crying and started laughing. Before I knew what was happening people I didn’t know were reading it and commenting on it. One of my high school friends, Becca, knows a successful weight loss blogger, Skinny Hollie. Becca had sent her my blog and asked her to mentor me throughout this process. Hollie told me to get a facebook page and a twitter account. Before I knew it, the blog had blown up.

I feel like I’m going through some sort of metamorphosis. It’s terrifying and thrilling and painful all at the same time. It’s officially a turning point in my life. It’s also exhausting. I will be struck by a moment of genius and will want to share it with you guys. Then I have to contend with a teething baby who is underfoot and on some sort of kamikaze mission to fall down the stairs, an emotional preteen and an over worked husband. I’m getting my master’s degree and my classes resume on Monday. I’ve got a ton of laundry to do, not to mention grocery shopping and finding time to workout.

It’s a challenge, so please bare with me as I try to find balance in this whole blogging world, which I find to be surreal and bazaar. I’m warning you, there will be typos, I suck at spelling and I still haven’t figured out how to make my blog look the way I want. I’m just asking you to be patient because I’m just kind of figuring this out as I go.

The Starting Line

First, let me say that I was super motivated to post this because I couldn’t stand seeing my side view “before” picture glaring at me as soon as I opened my blog. Yuck!

Second, this post may very well exhaust you so carry on with caution.

Third, I’m awesome.

Today was the first day that I actually did what I was supposed to do. I ate great, I worked out and I stayed motivated even if things weren’t working out the way I would have hoped. I started the day off with some veggies and eggs, then I made this awesome chicken harvest soup  for my family to enjoy for lunch and then… oh wait. Do you hear the tires screeching?

My husband, Brent, decided that he wanted to eat a McDonald’s McRib sandwich for lunch instead of soup because, “it’s only available for a limited time, you know.” He’s telling me this as he’s driving home from the gym where he just got done training a couple who are trying to lose weight, mind you. He’s a firefighter in Breckenridge but on his days off he is a personal trainer and crossfit instructor. He’s been working tons of overtime at the firehouse and is completely exhausted. This has prompted his inner fat kid to take over.

I proudly declined the fast food and stuck with my soup. Seriously, it’s so good! Check out the link. (Don’t forget the parmesan cheese rind and you can skip the quinoa if you don’t have any)

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Originally, I was hoping to be able to go to the gym by myself when my husband came back home from work. (I had to pee while holding the baby yesterday because she’s teething) Seriously? This momma needs some space. But then I realized how exhausted he was so I decided to take Penelope, my 8 month old, with me. I usually go to the gym in the mornings when I actually go in between naps but I was making the soup during that time so I decided to go in the afternoon. I packed her diaper bag and made sure the daycare workers would have everything she could possibly need and drove across town. I was starting to get pumped up for this “me” time that I really needed. As I started to walk into the gym I looked through the windows of the daycare and it was strangely dark. Then I realized… today is Saturday, the day care closes at noon. Dejected, I packed Penelope back into the car (she was more pissed off about it than I was) and drove home.

I wasn’t going to let this get in my way. So I bundled Penelope up, dusted off the jogging stroller and went for a run around my neighborhood.

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Technically, I ran where the sidewalk had been shoveled and walked where it was snowy. Pushing the stroller through the snow actually turned out to be a pretty good workout.

Dinner time came and Brent decided that soup didn’t sound good for dinner either. He and Bridget (my 10 year old) decided together that pizza was the way to go. I would normally argue because I like getting my way. But Brent has been at the firehouse for days on end, including Christmas Day and Christmas Eve. If he wants some freakin pizza I’m gonna get it for him… “don’t forget beer!”.

Honestly, I think I volunteered to pick up his beer and pizza so that I could have a few moments to myself. I ended up standing inside of Pizza Hut far longer than is good for the olfactory senses of a woman who is trying to lose weight. It smelled so good! I could feel my resolve waning. I got the box and not only did he order pizza but he ordered cinnamon sticks too. I had to smell it all the way home. Brent and Bridget dug right in as soon as I walked through the door. I didn’t feel like eating soup again either, but I had to wait until I put the baby to sleep before I could even think about making my dinner. But it wasn’t quite her bedtime yet so I just held her and stared at them stuff their faces. I had no idea what I was going to eat. I was contemplating eating a piece of peanut butter toast. Then I opened up the freezer to put away the soup and found Sante Fe Chicken. Yay! I ate it over chewy brown rice with fresh scallions and cilantro and topped it off with creamy avocado and a bit of cheddar. It was a perfect way to end my not so perfect day.

When do you feel the most motivated? The very beginning of a program or in the middle after you’ve seen some progress? For me, getting started is the hardest part.