Weekly Weigh-in #1

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I’m gonna be honest with you guys… it took me a while to get into the groove this week. I told myself that I would be hardcore from day one (last Friday). That mentality didn’t really come to fruition until Monday. Up until that point I kind of dabbled in dieting but I wasn’t fully committed.

You know why? I hate dieting.

BUT after months and months of just doing whatever I wanted to the point of ridiculous it turns out to be absolutely necessary.¬† If you are going to be extreme in the “I don’t give a shit department”. You better be prepared to get extreme in the other direction if you have any hopes of undoing any of the damage that has been done. So, that’s what I’m doing…

There seems to be a progression of revelations that come with dieting that seems eerily similar to the steps of grief.

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Shock and Denial- I’m not that fat… Oh CRAP I am that fat! ūüė¶ I can’t handle this right now, I’ll deal with it tomorrow.

Anger and Depression- How did it get this far? What the hell is wrong with me? Why didn’t you just start yesterday?

Release and Honor- I know what I need to do and that’s all there is to it.

Return to Love- I get more awesome day after day! Can everybody see how awesome I am?

Over the weekend I was still in shock and denial. Then Monday and Tuesday rolled around and I exercised self-discipline for the first time in a long time. This pissed me off because I don’t like being bossed around, even if I am the one doing the bossing. Then Wednesday through today I’m feeling pretty proud for accomplishing all of the little steps that I took through the week.

The counting calories part was the hardest for me. But it proved to be the best method for regaining some perspective. I would try to sneak in something not 100% healthy and I ended up hungry at the end of the day. But if I filled up on wholesome goodness within my calorie range I felt great. That prompted me to continue to make smart choices.

For instance, last night I had some calories left over after dinner. I wanted a little dessert so I contemplated eating a piece of dark chocolate and savoring it. Or eating apples and greek yogurt. I chose the apples and greek yogurt and it was awesome.

Weigh-in

When I weighed myself after the New Year I was shocked to see that I weighed 211.4 pounds. When I stepped on the scale today I weighed 206. That’s 5.4 pounds.

Honestly, I wish it were more. I wanted that 211.4 pounds to be mostly water weight from the holidays but I don’t think it is. The sobering fact is it is mostly comprised of fat.

I really am disappointed about ending up in this situation again…

I could blame it on all kinds of things: the ectopic pregnancy, PCOS hormones, new job, busy lifestyle… but none of that stuff matters. Wasting energy trying to justify how I ended up this heavy again doesn’t do anything for me in the future.

What I need to do is take this process one day at a time and pat myself on the back for each and every good decision that I make that leads me to where I want to go. In fact, that has kind of become a little nightly ritual. I track everything that I ate,  contemplate on all of the exercise I did and then I just take a moment to feel proud of myself.

Yes… I realize how cheesy that sounds..

But I really think it is necessary in the early stages of a lifestyle change.

I stripped down to my little blue short shorts for a new round of before and after pics. These will be posted on Friday January 30th along with the 1 month progress.

Now there is nothing left to do but keep going and that includes lunch with middle schoolers…

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Week 15 Weigh-in

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This week has been a sort of “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy” kind of week. I’ve been thinking a lot about where I am and where I’ve been and I’ve concluded that this has been a journey well traveled.

If you look in the archives of this blog and read where I was when I first started you will find a woman who was desperate to change. I was so uncomfortable with where I was mentally and physically that I couldn’t enjoy myself in the moment.

I’ve come to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter what the scale says on any given day. This is the path I’m going to have to follow in order to stay happy and healthy. I’m not perfect and I’m sure there will be times when my curiosity gets the best of me and I will vier off the path. But I’m sure the flying monkies will scare the crap out of me and I’ll find my way back to where I belong.

Before I stepped on the scale this morning I took a moment to just be happy with where I was in the moment. I’ve reached so many of my goals. I’m the definition of health both mentally and physically and the number that popped up today wasn’t going to change that mind-set.

When I stepped on the scale said 198.4…. YAY!

I tried to tone down my excitement because I just got done lecturing myself on how the scale doesn’t define me. But let’s be honest, this number is freaking awesome! I’ve been waiting to break out of the 200’s for a year!

In the past I’ve struggled with loving myself and trying to better myself simultaneously. I always thought that if I was trying to better myself then I must not be happy with the way I was. On the other hand, I¬†felt¬†that if I was happy with myself then there was no need to try to change.

I’ve come to the conclusion that there is nothing wrong with loving yourself the way that you are while you pursue a better you. I’ve decided that if I really love myself then I need make healthy choices daily. Before you know it those little baby steps can take you to some great places.

Week 14 Weigh-in

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It’s weigh-in day!¬†I say this with my face twisted into a what is supposed to be a smile¬†with as much fake enthusiasm as I can muster.

A¬†few weeks ago I started the 10 week challenge in an attempt to get ready for summer. Now we are 8 weeks out from the end of May and despite my efforts I’m just a centimeter closer to where I want to be.

I stepped on the scale this morning and it said 202.6.

WHAT THE @#&$!

I hate you!

No, not you…

I would throw my scale but it’s made of glass and I kind of need it for future weigh-ins.

I ate 90% clean this week. I had a handful of candy on Easter and had¬†a few drinks (okay maybe 5)¬†on date night paired with pizza on thin crust. This does not warrant weight gain… right?

I’ve run until my quads want to explode and lifted weights like a boss. I even passed up on post date night “eat like a fat kid day”. A part of me thinks I should have just partaken because it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.

For a woman my size I know for a fact that I have not consumed the caloric amount that would warrant weight gain.

I’m going to assume that this number is a reflection of water weight due to the beer I drank on Tuesday night. For some reason alcohol makes me retain water. In the mean time my husband can drink 5 beers a night wake up, text me a topless photo of him¬†flexing with the caption,”Do you think my supplements are working?”

I think he looks super hot but a part of me wants to text him back saying, “Do you think my foot would feel good up your… ? “

Whoa, I need to calm down.

When I started the 10 week challenge I said that I would not eat high glycemic carbs in the evening. This includes bread, rice, potatoes, pasta. I also swore off alcohol and sugar. I also gave myself one cheat meal a week. (That’s when I could drink and have dessert.)

I’ve done what I needed to do.

As a family we’ve switched over to mostly organic whole¬†foods. Last night I even made a lasagna with zucchini instead of noodles in an attempt at staying on track.

I made it with Iowa Girl Eats Caprese Lasagna with Turkey Sausage recipe.

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I even skimped on the cheese… I NEVER skimp on cheese!

I took Bridget to Starbucks this morning to get her and her friend Chai lattes and muffins as a treat and didn’t order anything for myself.

I think this behavior warrants a reward. Don’t you?

My plan of attack over the weekend is to drink a ton of water and to keep on keeping on. Oh and I might want adjust my attitude a bit too while I’m at it.

do what you can

… and onward we march!

By the way, how did your week go?

Week 13 Weigh-in and Monthly Progress Pics

Oh brother… it’s that time again.

I woke up this morning feeling like I was made of lead. I felt like there was no way I was going to channel “light thoughts” as I stood on the scale today. Brent’s workouts this week have definitely taken a toll on me. I’m pretty sure that every muscle on my body is sore.

I woke up this morning, peed, stripped down and stood on the scale… it read 201.6.

Can I be honest with you?

This number really pisses me off! Do you have any idea how many cupcakes, french fries and adult beverages I have skipped out on this week in the name of weight loss?

A lot.

Do you have any idea how many vegetables I have ingested even though vegetables aren’t my favorite thing in the world and how¬†many ounces of¬†water I have guzzled down?

A lot.

I’ve literally busted my butt working out almost every day this week and I somehow manage to lose less than a pound.

What the hell?!

It’s one thing to lose this much weight when you kind of half-assed it throughout the week. It’s another when you really did give it your all.

I literally want to slap all of the fat off of my body because it is making me so mad. ¬†It’s making me crazy!

I have goals damn it! Why won’t my body cooperate? I have finished my third month and I’m nowhere near where I thought I would be at this point.

I wrapped the measuring tape around my body in desperation looking for some other form of vindication. Guess what? I’ve lost one inch the entire month… ONE INCH!

I was so bummed about my outcomes that I took the pictures right after. I hadn’t brushed my hair or even wiped the smudged mascara out from under my eyes. I didn’t care.

Here they are for your viewing pleasure…

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See the smile plastered on my face? It’s hiding a bunch of cuss words that want to explode out of my mouth.

I really am mad… but I’m also more determined than ever.

I feel like some unknown force has just issued me a challenge and I am determined to kick its butt.

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I love this saying but I have chosen this picture because it pisses me off too. This is my pretend foe because anyone who sports a wedgie on purpose and pretends to workout that way deserves to be kicked in the ass. So this my friends is my imaginary bullseye.

P.S. My friend told me I was being ridiculous and put my pictures together so that I could see the real progress. After getting a glimpse I felt so much better. Thank you Cathmac!

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Week 11 Weigh-in and the Ten Week Challenge

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It’s weigh-in day!

I’m super excited, not because my number will be good but because summer is coming and I’ve got a plan.

This week sucked quite frankly. The flu ran rampant in my house¬†and although I was the only one who didn’t get sick the sleep situation was awful. My eyes are still red and puffy from lack of sleep.

I drank a ton of coffee throughout the week¬†which means I drank a ton of cream and sugar too. Oh and alcohol… you can bet that momma was guzzling some wine in the evenings after having her hair pulled out by a sick grumpy baby all day long.

My personal trainer (aka my hubby) was sick all week too so I didn’t workout the way I would have liked. I fit in maybe two runs the entire week. The jury is still out on whether you can consider hoeing your garden as a workout. My sore arms say yes.

So when I stepped on the scale I was not surprised to find that I weighed in at 205.

I looked at the calendar today and it has struck me that I only have 10 weeks left until Bridget is out of school for summer break!

This means I only have 10 weeks to make some major progress before swim suit season!

10 WEEKS!

Over the past few weeks my dedication level has tapered off. I think this is because I’m getting comfortable in my skin again. I no longer feel like Fat Bastard…

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But I’m still a long shot from being the hottie that God intended for me to be.¬†I have a feeling that God really wants me to be hot and I’m just letting Him down by settling comfortably in my fat suit.

Do you remember my friend Kellfire? Well, I consider her to be my nutrition coach. If I do what she tells me to do then I’m destined to be super successful. The problem is that her method actually requires dedication… and I’ve got commitment issues.

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Seriously though, ¬†you don’t get to where you look like this by eating hotdogs. Am I right?

If I had done what Kelly had told me to do when she told me to do it I would totally be a hottie right now. Unfortunatley, I’m kind of a brat and I didn’t want to give up my goodies. I’ve been able to eat what I want and still lose weight and although any progress is good progress I’ve really come to the point where I need to quit juggling back and forth.

I started out with one cheat day on Fridays and the rest of the time I ate great. Then my cheat day started to creep into Saturdays and then Sundays too. I’ve gotten to where I eat really well for four days and not so much for three days. By doing this I’m totally canceling out all of my efforts.

I know that I can maintain but I’m not to the point where I should. So I need to buckle down and do what I need to do for the next 10 weeks so that I can enjoy my summer in a fit and healthy body.

That’s where the next challenge comes in.

Here are the rules…

The 10 Week Challenge

  • No alcohol
  • No sugary drinks (aka sugar coffee, or soft drinks)
  • No carbs after 4 pm (This includes fruits so I will focus on lean meats, legumes and veggies)
  • One cheat¬†MEAL a week is permitted
  • No whining and crying about not getting what you want.

In the past I tried to do a no sugar challenge and I totally cracked under the pressure. But seriously ya’ll I¬†need to put my big girl panties on and suck it up!

This isn’t going to be easy but it will only last for 10 weeks. If things work out the way I have planned I will only need to lose a little bit of weight during the summer which means I can relax and enjoy myself. I love summer! I don’t want to ruin it by feeling uncomfortable in a bathing suit¬†wishing I had tried harder earlier on.

So who’s with me?

I initially wanted to start today but Brent thinks it’s¬†sacrilegious to swear off alcohol a few days before St. Patrick’s Day. So the official start date is Monday. He said that he would do the challenge too only he should be able to drink two beers a day. What the heck?! That’s not a challenge! We’re still debating on those terms. All I know is that if I succeed at this challenge I win a spa day. If he succeeds he wins a Cardinals dart board for the garage… don’t ask me, that’s what he said he wanted.

I’m so excited! I know that if I actually listen to Kelly I’m going to have a really great summer!

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